Back In The Saddle?

It has been an obscenely long time since I last posted. I'm not sure why that is exactly, but it happened. I miss writing. I miss creating. I have found that more and more of my free time is spent sucked into the content of the Internet through the screen of my phone. I love my smart, smart phone, but I miss writing. We'll see if I can change my ways.

As 2015 comes to an end, maybe I should fill you in on life here in my world this year...

My last post was written nearly a year and a half ago. We weaned Emma off of her meds. The process was slow and annoying as I said it would be. Finally, on November 18, 2014, she got her last Enbrel injection. The girl stayed off meds for nearly SIX MONTHS before the evil beast arthritis resurfaced in her left ankle and right knee as usual, with some finger involvement as the weeks passed. We restarted weekly Enbrel injections on June 1, 2015. She received near immediate relief and is still getting her weekly shot with no active arthritis at present. She started Kindergarten at the end of August, which she loves. She is not only growing, but flourishing, and it is beautiful.

Sir Liam is nearly three and a half years old and he has perfected the art of trying my patience. He is also skilled at selective listening, accidentally banging his head into everything, and eating most non-dessert foods incredibly slowly. His blue eyes still light up my world, and his budding sense of humor is quite entertaining. He is healthy, happy, ridiculous, and quite pleased to be sleeping on the top bunk in a twin-size bed.

Me?
I've spent a lot of time in the past year figuring out more about me. It's been really wonderful. I've allowed myself to question everything, to look at the wide world around me, to evaluate the depths of my own spirit, and to break free of a paradigm that I have outgrown. For several years, I attempted to confine my mind, heart, and feisty spirit into a box that doesn't come in my size. Many of those years were wonderful and uplifting, but I have found greater truth and beauty here, where fewer chains bind me. It has been a difficult, yet freeing journey.

My incredible husband and I have grown closer together in the past year. We don't know why, we can't really put words to explain what has changed, but our love is stronger than it used to be, our communication is improved, and our life is happy.

As we move past the holiday madness and enter 2016 full of expectations and the thrill of starting fresh, I hope you are happy too. I hope you take time to do something you love, to kiss someone you love, to sing songs that you love. Take a moment to smile for me, because that is what this beautiful life is all about.

Here's to a New Year!

Round 2: Wean!

(You have to read the title in the style of the Street Fighter arcade games. Only we aren't fighting, we're weaning.)

A year ago tomorrow, Emma restarted her Enbrel after a brief, but glorious, eight weeks of being med-free and arthritis-free. Her wonder drug has helped us to enjoy this past year with no active arthritis. Now, we are once again in the process of weaning off the medication.

This is a stressful time for me. Yes, I want to get our kid off of a heavy-duty med with unforeseen future side-effects, but when a medication keeps the arthritis under control so beautifully, I fear life without it. Yes, I hate that I have to give my daughter a weekly injection, but she takes it gracefully, tolerates it beautifully, and it gets the job done. Without our Enbrel, I will become freakishly vigilant and begin checking her joints each day and watching her like a hawk for signs of stiffness each morning.

This time is different than when we weaned last year. We're doing it much more conservatively so the process will take longer. That annoys me. Let's just stop the meds and see if the arthritis comes back already! No? No. 

This time is also different because I'm even more of a hippie than I was last year. Now Miss Emma applies frankincense essential oil to the bottoms of her feet twice daily. Frankincense is awesome because it is a powerful anti-inflammatory and has many healing properties. I'm hoping it does the trick when the Enbrel is out of her system. Maybe this time we will have more than eight weeks of unmedicated remission.

Fingers Crossed.

My Cup Runneth Over

I've been missing in action on this blog. I apologize. I have started composing many blog posts in my mind, only to find that I don't really have time to sit and write them out.

Tonight, I made the firm decision to go to bed at 8:00 P.M. because I'm exhausted and it's Mother's Day, so I'm entitled to certain luxuries. However, The Fates have aligned against me, once again. (It can't possibly be a coincidence that every time I plan on going to bed early, my children have a difficult time falling asleep/staying in bed.) That is why I am starting this post at 7:59 P.M. If I crawl in to bed, one of them will start crying for me. It's inevitable. So, I'll sit here and stay awake until I feel confident they won't ruin my slumber.

I've had the most amazing weekend.

Friday was fun. I took the day off work, took Emma to preschool, and spent a couple of rare, treasured hours one-on-one with my Liam. Then I ditched my sweet second child and had some grown-up time with old, dear friends. It started with picking up my forever friend and former college roommate from the airport. We then met with two more college friends and ate the most delicious food for lunch. (Do you live in the Bay Area? Eat at Burma Superstar. Seriously. Do it!) I inhaled the mango chicken and coconut rice and I fully intend to return there soon in order to do it again.

It's always fun to watch my kids interact with other adults. This weekend I watched them crawl all over Tanya, fight for a spot in her lap to look at pictures on her phone, and bring her book after book to read to them. They adore her, which is proof that I'm raising them up right. Emma was very attached and so excited to color with Tanya, play with her hair, dance with her, and cuddle with her in the morning. It was adorable and I'm grateful that Tanya enjoyed herself and was so kind to my kids.

Saturday morning was the Tri-Valley Walk To Cure Arthritis. Once again, we gathered together as friends and family to walk a 5K to raise awareness of arthritis. It is a very special event for me. So many people who are extremely important in my life come out to support my family and my brave, strong little girl. We had over 40 people walking with us! I was pumped! Excited to see such good friends, excited that our team raised so much money this year, excited to think that maybe... maybe we can make a difference in the treatment of Juvenile Arthritis. Maybe we can make someone's life better, easier, pain free. Maybe we can save a life.  

After the walk, we spent time with several of our "local" JA friends. I treasure these people. These women and their girls take away all the feelings of solitude that I felt when Emma's arthritis first reared it's ugly head. Arthritis is our common enemy, and that is a force that bonds us together differently than any other friendships I have known. I'm so blessed to have these people in my life.

Sunday has been lazy, which is good because I am tired and my thighs are still burning from yesterday's walk. This Mother's Day I am so grateful to be a mother of two stubborn, bright, funny little kids. I'm grateful for my husband who works so hard so that I can stay home (most days) and raise our children. I'm grateful for my own mom for loving me unconditionally and for being such an amazing grandmother.

Now it's past 8:30 P.M. and I'm certain my darling children are sound asleep. I'd better follow suite.

Thank you to all of you who helped make this weekend so extremely wonderful!!!!