Wednesday, December 29, 2010


What a year!

This is the year I became a mom and life changed forever. This is the year that I became a sleep-deprived wreck, that my husband finally started working during the day again, that we read the Book of Mormon the whole way through, together. The year that Gypsy died, that I quit my job, that Barry's Grandpa died and we made the trek to Oregon.

I'm sure a lot has happened, but I feel like it's all baby related and I'm pretty sure you've heard it already.

Cheers, 2010, you've been good to me. Let's hope the New Year is just as kind!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ten Months

A few days late...

Saturday The Bean hit the 10 month mark. That's wild and crazy and I can hardly believe how quickly this first year of her life is flying by. Here's the latest and greatest:

-She's able to stand without holding on to anything for several seconds. She can walk pretty well while holding only one of my hands for support. It won't be long before she is walking everywhere and getting into everything.

-Her little mouth has four teeth that she loves to brush. By "brush" I mean that she loves to gnaw on the toothbrush.

-She is babbling up a storm. She will copy sounds, especially silly things like clicking you tongue or blowing so your lips vibrate and make fun noises. The best thing of all... She Meows! When she hears a cat meow, she says, "Eeooowwwww" right back to them. It is delightful.

-The vocabulary that she understands has increased, too. She's also figured out that when I point to something she should look in that general direction.

-She loves to stick her finger in her nose. I wonder where she got that?!?! (It is the pointer finger on her LEFT hand. So hoping she is a lefty!)

-When I let her hold a hair brush, she attempts to brush her hair.

-She LOVES playing with Addison. They are baby wrestlers and I love the way they laugh together.

-Sleep is going okay, but not right now because she has a cold and has been up coughing for about an hour the past two nights. I'm tired.

-She loves to eat. The only thing I've tried to feed her that was not a hit was zucchini, otherwise, if she sees food she goes crazy and starts having a hissy fit because she wants it in her face. Bananas are a favorite.

-I adore her more and more with each passing second. How is that possible?

Monday, November 29, 2010


What a wonderful time of year.

My birthday present was purchased this weekend because holiday sales are the best. Ever since living with the Tanya, I have wanted a pair of cowboy boots. Then I married a man who wears his boots every Sunday to church. Finally, he bought me a pair. Aren't they pretty?

I think so.

The air is cold and smells of cozy fireplaces. Thanksgiving is still fresh in our hearts. I am so grateful for my family, my friends, my husband and my daughter. I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the difference it makes in my life. I am grateful that we are getting by comfortably, with food in the cupboards and water in the pipes. We are so blessed.

Christmas is right around the corner. My decorations are still in their boxes, but they've made it from the garage to the house. I am excited to put them up, to bring holiday cheer into our home. I am really looking forward to Emma's excitement when she sees the tree lit up for the first time. This is going to be a lot of fun.

Thursday, November 11, 2010



Yesterday I turned 28. I like birthdays, I especially like my birthdays, so I have no complaints.

Today, Emma celebrated 9 months of life. Wow. She has been a living, breathing person in the world for the same amount of time that it took to grow her inside of me. That is amazing. We went out to Chinese food for dinner tonight and the fortune inside my cookie said, "Remember 3 months from this date. Good things are in store for you." Yes, they are. I can't believe my kidlette is so close to being a year old.

Here is a list of her latest and greatest achievements:
Crawling like a champ.
Standing up while holding onto anything for support
Cruising all over the place while holding on to anything for support
2 bottom teeth
She can pick things up with just her finger and thumb - she loves to feed herself!
She repeats sounds. We can get her to say "Dada," "kiki" (for kitty), "DuhDuh" (for doggie), and sometimes "baba" (for bye-bye).
She laughs hysterically with her mouth wide open and her tongue out.
She is about 27 inches tall.
I don't know how much she weighs.
She claps her hands and it is adorable.

I love her.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Great Clip?

The thing about hair is that it's only hair. In my experience it always grows back, so I don't have much of a problem with taking a chance when getting it cut. Usually, when I get an urge for a haircut, I drive over to my local cheap place and have them chop it. There's always a risk since it's a different hair stylist every time and I'm only paying $15 for a haircut, but like I said, it's only hair. There have been times when I have planned ahead and made an appointment with someone who I know does a fantastic job, but then I have to wait days, sometimes weeks, before my glorious haircut day. I don't like waiting.

Saturday I decided to get a haircut. I drove to a different local cheap place because my father in law gave me a coupon and I couldn't resist $10.95 for a haircut. Upon entering I became instantly aware that this place was a little less classy than my usual spot, but oh well, it's only hair. As usual, I told the hairstylist to cut my hair, oh, about this long and trim my bangs and I'm not too picky, so go for it. She was a little, old Asian lady and she didn't make small talk. She did a pretty good job considering my hair had decided to be every-which-way kind of wavy that day. My hair got trimmed up nice and short and I am happy, but every time I look in the mirror I can't help thinking that my hair is some kind of mix between this

and this

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Where to begin?

I compose little blog posts in my head frequently, only rarely do I find the time to sit and write. I don't actually have the time right now, but I'll steal a moment or two before I get to my chores.
Never mind the nap that I should be taking.

The new shopping carts at Target make me feel like I am a Lego person. I like the look, but I don't like feeling squarish and made of plastic. Target is probably my favorite store, however, I'm a little let down by the "glorious" new grocery department. They got me so excited for the arrival of fresh produce and I was expecting great things. The selection is alright, but they're selling fruits in itty-bitty quantities that wouldn't last fourteen seconds at my house. I'll just have to stick to the farmers' market and Costco for my berries.

My life is a little bit wacky.
One day I think I have the hang of this motherhood, staying-at-home, master of the universe thing because everything goes smoothly. I accomplish multiple tasks around the house, run errands, and go for a walk, all while juggling flaming torches. (Substitute "poopy diapers" for "flaming torches" for a more accurate description.) The next day everything falls apart and all I want to do is sleep, but there are still chores to do and torches to juggle, if you know what I mean. My mood is on a roller coaster, complete with flips and turns that make my husband want to vomit. Will I ever get the hang of this? Why did those 1950s idealistic family television shows ever exist? I am fairly certain that I will never have dinner ready for my family by the time Barry comes home from work. I've only made dinner twice in the past seven months. Granted, I have never been the type to make dinner on a regular basis, but still.

Fall is definitely in the air and I am grateful. I love the change of the seasons, the coolness, the holidays, and the sense of something new in the air. Driving with my windows down, that air gave me a brief recollection of an earlier time in my life. It felt like college, maybe high school. I remember when autumn meant that a new year was beginning. Life was full of possibilities and I was full of hope and anticipation. Things were simpler, responsibilities were fewer, and my heart was light. It's interesting how life changes and I move forward without realizing the world I've left behind.

This is my world now:
Emma is now about 7 and a half months old. Her first tooth started making its entrance two weeks ago. It is still a little thing, but it is definitely there, sharp as can be. She had been rocking on her hands and knees for some time and could pseudo-crawl in a circle (always turning to the left) for a little while, but began to really crawl at the end of last week. It is amazing to see how quickly she masters new skills.

She loves to crawl towards the cats, or any colorful object. She gets great pleasure from banging things together to make a little noise. One of her favorite activities is crawling to the vertical blinds and slapping them around. Her language skills are blossoming with a whole new repertoire of sounds. There are too many to name and when she is in a good mood she meshes them all together into a fun world of baby talk. My favorite is her gargling, it is adorable. Her appetite is ravenous, and she gets extremely cranky when the food is not getting into her face quickly enough. (She is clearly related to me.) I can't wait until she figures out how to feed herself so that I stop getting yelled at in baby language at the dinner table. She is not sleeping through the night. She is still nursing at least five times a day and once to three times at night. (Yes, I am exhausted.) She has become very good at napping. Her hair still sticks up straight and the mullet is regrowing. Her smiles are huge and amazing.
She is the brightest light in my life.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A Man I Know

We've all seen crazy in the movies.

The actor is being payed well to have that wild look in his eyes and gesture foolishly as he rambles loudly about his experiences. His stories are vivid, full of tangents and unexplained details. A streak of violence manifests itself in his voice, his movements. His perception is different, he can see light of an unmeasurable wavelength and hear people that cannot be seen. His manic hair and weathered skin only add to the wildness of his manners. The phrases he coins make the audience chuckle, maybe ponder at what makes a man insane. Is it possibly just genius gone awry? Can this be real?

I don't chuckle when it's on my doorstep, when the wild eyes are as familiar as my own. There is no camera here, no makeup artist or acclaimed director, only my brother, his demons, and me. The stories are his own, not cleverly written or thought through beforehand, just raw experiences tied up in his unimaginable point of view. Is it possibly just genius gone awry? I don't know. It's positively unnerving, though.

I keep hoping that he'll stop talking mid-story, look at me with full sanity and comprehension and say, "Got Ya! Didn't I!?!?!"

Sadly, that's never going to happen.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Goodbye Baby Mullet

This is what I did today...

So much better.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I'm not so sure...

To My Hips:

What happened? We used to be friends, but due to your recent expansion I am having a hard time maintaining our relationship. I know growing a baby was hard work for you, but you really didn't have to get any wider. She didn't even come out that way. Now I have zero pants that fit me. It's not like I can quickly buy some new ones, since I have no idea what size, styles, or brands fit my new figure. Shopping for pants has become a drawn-out, dreaded experience that only ends in frustration. I hope you are happy.


Friday, May 28, 2010

Here we go.

I have officially put my teaching career on hold to focus on being a mommy.
It's never easy to say goodbye to my class is each year, but this time it was particularly difficult. I won't see these kids in the hallways. I won't be there for former students to visit during recess or before school. I won't walk onto the playground and get attacked by a mob of hugging girls. Teachers teach because we love children and we love learning. I don't know if I've made a profound difference in any of my students' lives, but many of them have touched my heart and forever changed me.
Ah, Bethany School and all of my little munchkins. I'm going to miss everything.

My daughter is amazing. I am so glad to be able to spend more time with her, except I don't know if I'm up for the challenge. Taking care of 23 second graders is a lot different than caring for one 3.5 month old. Plus I have training and practice with teaching. Baby care is a whole new world. Pregnancy wasn't so bad because I knew that if I wanted to take care of the baby all I had to do was take care of myself. Now that she's living outside of my body I have to find time to take care of both of us, and not neglect the hubby. It is a balancing act that I have not mastered and honestly doubt if I ever will.

You know what will help get me through?
Sweet Baby laughter and the fact that she finds the dog absolutely hilarious. Nothing brightens my day more quickly than the sound of her giggles.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

A breath of fresh air

This is my first day off since April 5th and it is oh so amazing. I can't believe how relaxing it is to be get up in the morning and know that I have hours before I need to leave the house. Laundry doesn't seem like a chore when I actually have time to fold it. This is incredible and I am greatly looking forward to the end of the school year next week.

My Barry is another year older today. Happy Birthday to him!

Baby Bean is sick with her second cold. I'm fairly certain she takes after me in the mucus production department. Poor thing. It is kind of cute when she snores, though. Though I like how long she sleeps when she's not feeling well, I'm hoping it clears up quickly.

I've got report cards to finish, Sharing Time to plan, laundry to do, and a cake to bake. Please excuse me.

Monday, May 3, 2010


Dear 5:30 A.M.,

Though you are much nicer during these Spring mornings, I have to be honest, I do not like you very much. I am counting down our days together and am delighted to say that there are only 18 left. I cannot wait for the glorious day when I push the little "off" button next to my alarm that says "5:30 A.M. Monday - Friday." Until then, Boo on you.

Sleepy Sarah

Monday, April 19, 2010

Baby Blessing

We blessed Emma in church yesterday. It was wonderful. She wore a dress for the first time and was absolutely beautiful. (I'll post a picture later.) We felt so loved and supported by the friends and family who were there. It was a special day.

The day would have been filled with more photos, family time, and fun, but I had a nasty stomach flu that kept me on the couch. I'm taking today off work to recuperate. I figured it would be a bad idea to try to teach my class with only a few saltine crackers and 16 oz. of gatorade in my system.

On another note, Emma is starting to bat at objects! While lying "under the sea" she kept hitting her rattly octopus and I kept encouraging her. Hopefully this becomes a trend. She is also quite a stud at rolling from her tummy to her back.
It's crazy how the little things are so important.

Okay, I'm going to try eating a banana now. Wish me luck.

Friday, April 16, 2010

My first week as a working mom...

I survived.

Monday was rough, but the rest of the week has been really good.
I'm delighted to see my kiddos at work and retrain them. (How quickly they forgot my rules, routines, and procedures.) Emma is doing fantastically well with babysitters. In fact, she's doing better with them than she does with me. I think it has to do with being bottle-fed. She's able to eat more and is actually satisfied enough to nap well. Darn me and my miniature feeding parts.

I have very little time at the end of each day, so I feel a little rushed and overwhelmed with all of this. However, we're making it work. In six short weeks the craziness will be over.

Only 29 school days left.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Just so I don't forget

Yesterday little Emma started using her big, loud voice for happy sounds. It was a little alarming at first because I thought some screaming and crying were coming, but then I started laughing when I realized she was just talking. It was fantastic.

A couple of weeks ago she developed the ability to make spit bubbles. She has been practicing ever since.

This morning was the first time that she actually enjoyed her bath rather than just tolerating it.

She sucked on a pacifier like a champ during her hip ultrasound yesterday. When I tried to give her one today, she gagged and spat it out at me. She's very stubborn. (Her hips are just fine, the ultrasound was just to make sure she didn't have any hip dislocation issues as a result of her breech presentation.)

The little things...

... make life sweeter.

  • listening to a wild storm in the night and waking in the morning to blue skies and sunshine
  • watching the sunlight move across the carpet as the sun rises each day
  • hearing the trains go through town in the middle of the night
  • toothless smiles
  • the way the carpet looks when vacuumed
  • singing along to The Beatles
  • bath time in the kitchen sink
(I am becoming quite proficient at typing one-handed.)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

so what if it's 2:30AM

I am so hungry and so tired.
How am I supposed to eat enough calories to produce enough good breast milk if I'm always nursing? How am I supposed to sleep enough to produce enough good breast milk if I have to eat during all of my spare time?
(This bagel is delicious.)

I love motherhood and am so in love with my daughter, but there are a lot of things going on right now that I do not love.

1. Winter wakes me more frequently than the baby. I know she's a 17-year-old cat with health issues, but why did I ever start feeding her during the night? This is awful.

2. I am not fat, I know, but none of my clothes fit. Cute maternity pants don't stay up now that I have no belly. Pre-preggo pants don't make it over my newly expanded hips. I'm left with stretchy exercise pants or pjs. I feel like a slob all of the time.

3. I hardly go anywhere or do anything. This is partly due to the fact that I have a highly demanding infant who needs fed every 2 to 3 hours. Also, please reread statement #2.

4. I go back to work in 2 weeks and I really don't want to leave my baby. I'm sure it will all be fine, but it's adding a lot of stress to my world. How do I plan for her needs while she is in the care of someone else?

Okay. I'm going back to bed now.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

1 month later

"...thou art an elect lady, whom I have called." -D&C 25:3

I can hardly believe that my baby girl is already one month old. It is amazing to think that I have spent exactly four weeks with this little miracle. Time moves so quickly.

Much has happened in those weeks. I have a ton of pictures on my camera that I will have to post at another time. (The cord to connect the camera to the computer is in my bedroom, where my husband is sleeping. I dare not disturb him.) There have been endless hours of nursing, too many diaper changes to count, baths, short stretches of precious sleep, baby coos, ahs, squeaks, and screams, much laughter, and many tears.

I don't want to forget anything about this incredible time in our lives, but there is so much to remember. There was my anxiety over her weight loss and the fact that she took about three weeks to regain her birth weight instead of making it by the doctor's goal of two weeks. There has been the nasty herbal supplement, the two-hour feeding schedule, and the post-nursing pumping in an effort to get my milk supply to increase. What fun. I've also had the joy of deciding to quit my teaching job for next school year so that I have more time with Emma at home. During this time I have come to love and appreciate my husband more than I ever thought possible. That has been one of the greatest gifts and blessings this little girl has brought into our home.

Enough about me. Here are some of the things I love about my daughter:
  • Her hair, when freshly washed, stands straight up all over. It reminds me of a bizarre cross between Sting and Annie Lenox. Oh, the 1980s.
  • She makes a loud, happy "AAH!" sound from time to time, usually after sneezing. It melts my heart.
  • She looks into our eyes now and watches our faces.
  • The girl can hold her head up like a champ.
  • She is so strong and can scoot across the floor on her belly if she has something to push her feet against. She can scoot pretty remarkably on her back as well. Her head ends up against the headboard of her cradle almost every morning now.
  • Her bright blue eyes are incredible.
  • Her preference for looking at church pictures on the walls makes me happy.
  • She loves her bouncy chair.
  • She does not startle or cry when the dog barks, thank goodness.
  • She is beautiful.
Motherhood is remarkable. I can't believe the love that I feel for this little one, it's like nothing else in the world.

I can't wait to see what the next month holds.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Emma's Birthday

My c-section is scheduled for 12:30 this afternoon.

The only downfall of the morning is that I can
't eat. I keep reminding myself that I've been fasting once a month for seven years now, it's not that hard to do! However, I haven't fasted for the past nine months. Pregnant ladies are very hungry and thirsty. There is some serious grumbling in my tummy.

Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things.

In a few short hours my life will change. Forever.
It's going to be a beautiful day.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Maternity Leave...

This may be my first day of maternity leave, but my hungry pets don't know that. They're in a routine and I'm certain they can tell time. Hello 5:30 A.M. Can't say it's exactly nice to see you.

Now that the cats have had their breakfasts, I'm going back to bed.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

in 3 weeks...

In three weeks I get to hold my baby girl in my arms for the first time.

Little Emma is breech. She enjoys having her head in my ribs and isn't really interested in turning around so that she can "head out" of the womb the traditional way. I can't say that I blame her. Small spaces make some physical activities nearly impossible.

Take this (Only you have to imagine the septum extended ALL the way down the middle):

Plus This:

And you end up with a pretty good idea of what my uterus looks like.
Now imagine a baby filling up one side. (She's no tiny baby either. At 36 weeks she's weighing in at approximately 7 pounds and has a large head.) Could she be able to flip around in the next few weeks? Well, she could. You could zip yourself up in a sleeping bag and then try to invert yourself, but it won't be easy. Trying isn't the issue here. Success is limited by the amount of space available.

Anyway, breech baby + weird uterus = planned cesarian delivery.

Thursday, February 11th, here we come.

Oh my goodness...