A Man I Know

We've all seen crazy in the movies.

The actor is being payed well to have that wild look in his eyes and gesture foolishly as he rambles loudly about his experiences. His stories are vivid, full of tangents and unexplained details. A streak of violence manifests itself in his voice, his movements. His perception is different, he can see light of an unmeasurable wavelength and hear people that cannot be seen. His manic hair and weathered skin only add to the wildness of his manners. The phrases he coins make the audience chuckle, maybe ponder at what makes a man insane. Is it possibly just genius gone awry? Can this be real?

I don't chuckle when it's on my doorstep, when the wild eyes are as familiar as my own. There is no camera here, no makeup artist or acclaimed director, only my brother, his demons, and me. The stories are his own, not cleverly written or thought through beforehand, just raw experiences tied up in his unimaginable point of view. Is it possibly just genius gone awry? I don't know. It's positively unnerving, though.

I keep hoping that he'll stop talking mid-story, look at me with full sanity and comprehension and say, "Got Ya! Didn't I!?!?!"

Sadly, that's never going to happen.

Goodbye Baby Mullet

This is what I did today...

So much better.

I'm not so sure...

To My Hips:

What happened? We used to be friends, but due to your recent expansion I am having a hard time maintaining our relationship. I know growing a baby was hard work for you, but you really didn't have to get any wider. She didn't even come out that way. Now I have zero pants that fit me. It's not like I can quickly buy some new ones, since I have no idea what size, styles, or brands fit my new figure. Shopping for pants has become a drawn-out, dreaded experience that only ends in frustration. I hope you are happy.

Me