Saturday, November 2, 2013

My Secret Fear

Liam is 15 months old now.

Do you know that Emma was 15 months old when her arthritis showed up and broke my heart and changed my world?

I know my kids are very different and will have very different struggles in life, but that doesn't quiet the little, nagging fear in the back of my mind that Liam is going to wake up one day with a stiff, swollen joint. Compared to an average child (Whatever that means!), there is a slightly increased chance of my son developing Juvenile Arthritis, because autoimmune diseases tend to run in families.

I'm a worrier and have been since I was a little kid, so it's only natural that I worry about this evil disease affecting my children. From what I gather, most JA parents find themselves checking their healthy kids' joints from time to time because we just can't help but worry. I know I'm not the only one.

So far, all is well with little Liam. He walks everywhere, has eight teeth, loves food, and definitely ate his weight in watermelon today. He has some separation anxiety when I leave him with other people. It makes me a little sad to hear him cry when I leave him, but it also makes me feel special to know that he really does enjoy having me around. Liam loves our cats, his sister, going outside, his daddy, and just about every other detail of life. He also enjoys throwing the occasional tantrum. I tell him "no" and he cries out and plops himself down hard. Then he either folds in half and puts his big head onto his little feet, or flops backwards and lies down. I try not to let him know that such behavior is actually incredibly cute. I'm blessed that he is mine.

Emma is doing really well, also. She got a really flattering haircut a few weeks ago that makes her look so grown up. I love it. I love her to pieces. She is so brave when it comes to her weekly injections, yet she has recently decided to be scared of the dark. She asks me a million questions a day, often about song lyrics, or why a character in a movie acted in a certain way. I'm grateful that she's my girl.

I'm looking forward to this wonderful month of November. Our family had a happy October. We especially loved the pumpkin patch, Halloween costumes, and trick-or-treating. Speaking of which... Emma is asleep and Barry isn't home, so I need to go dispose of some candy! (Shhh!!! Don't tell them!)





2 comments:

  1. I wish I could reach through cyberspace and give you a hug. I know that worry well, and completely relate. Even though both my kids have JA, I can tell you that my second kid's case is so mild that he is not even on any regular meds. Their cases are entirely different. Worry didn't change anything, and the situation was much better than I thought it would be (even with the devastating news that he did in fact have it) The worry is worse than the "real" situation- at least it was in our case. I am hoping you find peace, but I understand how elusive that can be. Thanks for sharing a very heartfelt post.

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  2. Hi! Just stumbled across your blog.my daughter was diagnosed w jia at 2.5yrs. She is now 4.5 and the metothrexate no longer seems to be working anymore.Her doctors plan to start her on enbrel and I just was looking for parents on advice how to administer it hassle free.any tips .im so stressed for her to go through this. Please email me at ldoshani@gmail.com if you get a chance.thanks so much.

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